Whom versus who: choosing the right pronoun in a sentence about a kitten named Bob the Cat

Let me explain a little grammar moment that often trips people up: the difference between who, whom, which, and whose. It pops up in story-like sentences all the time, and yes, you’ll see it on tests like the ones you’re studying for, but you’ll also meet it in real life emails, essays, and social posts. Here’s a concrete example to anchor the idea:

For her birthday, Elsa gave herself a kitten, who she named Bob the Cat.

If you’re reading this aloud, you might pause around the comma, wondering which form fits. The short answer in standard written English is: whom. But there’s a good reason this one can feel tricky, especially when animals are involved. Let me walk you through what’s happening and why “whom” is the right fit here.

What the sentence is doing, in plain language

• The phrase after the comma—who she named Bob the Cat—gives extra information about the kitten. It’s not essential to identifying which kitten Elsa gave herself; it adds color and detail, a nonessential detail, in grammar-speak. That little aside is called a nonrestrictive (or nonessential) relative clause.

• Inside that little clause, the pronoun who/whoever would stand in for the kitten if we rewove the sentence without naming the kitten at all. But in this case, the kitten is the one being named. The action inside the clause is “named,” and the noun that receives that action is the kitten.

So, the pronoun is functioning as the object of the verb in the relative clause. That’s the key clue that pushes us toward whom, not who.

Who vs whom vs which vs whose: the quick rule of thumb

• Who = subject of a verb. The person (or animal) is doing the action.

Example: The kitten who woke up early is Bob the Cat. (The kitten is doing the waking.)

• Whom = object of a verb or a preposition. The person (or animal) is receiving the action or is the target of a preposition.

Example: The kitten whom Elsa named Bob the Cat. (The kitten is the thing named; “named” is the action that takes the kitten as its object.)

• Which = used for things or sometimes animals in nonhuman reference, often in nonrestrictive (nonessential) clauses.

Example: The toy, which the cat knocked over, rolled across the floor.

• Whose = possessive; shows ownership.

Example: The cat whose collar glowed in the dark pranced by.

In our sentence, the kitten is the recipient of the naming action. That makes the kitten the object inside the relative clause. That’s why whom is the natural choice.

A deeper note: what makes this tricky with animals

Some people instinctively say who for animals, treating pets as people. And there’s nothing wrong with that in casual speech; you’ll hear it all the time in everyday conversation. But in formal writing, or in careful standard usage, you treat the animal as the object of the action inside the relative clause when that’s what’s happening. In this case, because the kitten receives the action of naming, whom is appropriate.

A couple of quick contrasts to keep straight

• The cat, who slept on the couch, looked content. (Here, who is the subject of the relative clause: the cat did the sleeping.)

• The cat, whom Elsa named Bob the Cat, looked curious. (Here, whom is the object of the action “named.” Elsa named the cat something; the cat is the thing named.)

Why the original sentence can feel off

The sentence as written uses who after the comma. That suggests “the kitten” is the subject of the relative clause, which would imply the kitten is doing the naming. Since Elsa is the one doing the naming, that setup calls for whom. In short, the pronoun needs to reflect who is receiving the action inside that relative clause.

A practical way to check yourself

If you can replace the relative clause with a simpler construction and the sentence still makes sense, you’re on the right track. For this sentence:

• Elsa gave herself a kitten, whom she named Bob the Cat.

If you try to swap in “it” for the kitten, you get:

• Elsa gave herself a kitten, which she named Bob the Cat. (That also works, but “which” tends to refer to things or inanimate objects. For a living being, whom is a cleaner fit when the clause makes the animal the object of the naming action.)

This little trick helps you see the role the noun is playing inside the relative clause.

A quick exercise to cement the idea

Here are three sentences. Decide whether who, whom, which, or whose fits best. I’ll note the quick rule after each.

1. The gardener, ___ watered the plants daily, kept the beds tidy.

• Answer: who or whom could work? If the gardener is the one doing the watering, who fits (subject of the verb watered). If you restructure so the person is the object of a verb, use whom. In this structure, who is the safer pick because the gardener is the doer.

2. The book, ___ cover was torn, belonged to the librarian.

• Answer: which. The pronoun refers to a thing (the cover of the book), not a person, so which is the natural choice.

3. The student ___ backpack was left behind received a reminder.

• Answer: whose. Here we’re dealing with possession—the backpack belongs to the student, so whose makes perfect sense.

If you’re ever unsure, a quick substitution idea helps: try replacing the relative clause with a version where the noun is clearly a subject or object. If the noun is the doer, use who. If the noun is the receiver of the action, use whom. If the pronoun references a thing rather than a person, which or that is often the better pick.

What to remember for your own writing

• Pay attention to the role inside the relative clause. Is the noun performing the action or receiving it? That tells you whether who or whom fits.

• Nonessential relative clauses (the kind set off by commas) give extra detail. Whether you use who or whom doesn’t change the main meaning of the sentence; it just clarifies the relationship inside the clause.

• In everyday language, many people use who when they should use whom, especially with animals. The safest route for formal writing is to treat the pronoun as the object when it’s receiving the action inside the clause.

• Whose handles possession; it’s a quick way to attach ownership to the noun.

A few notes on sources you can trust

If you want to skim more examples or get a quick refresher, reference guides from respected grammar resources—think Purdue Online Writing Lab (OWL), Merriam-Webster, or the Chicago Manual of Style. They lay out the who/whom/which/that distinctions with clear explanations and plenty of example sentences. It’s not about memorizing rules forever; it’s about recognizing patterns in everyday sentences so you can write with confidence.

The bigger picture: why this matters beyond tests

Pronoun choice isn’t just a box to check on a quiz. It shapes how readers parse your sentences. A misplaced who/whom can momentarily throw the reader off, like a tiny pothole in an otherwise smooth road. In more technical or professional writing, precision signals care and credibility. In creative writing, precise choices can even alter tone—subtle, but real.

A final thought that helps with both everyday writing and more formal prose

Language grows from listening and reading as much as from rules. If you hear a sentence and it sounds off, test it by swapping pronouns and seeing how the meaning shifts. This isn’t about pressure or perfection; it’s about clarity. When you explain grammar choices to someone else, you reinforce your own understanding and model strong writing habits.

Bringing it home with a practical takeaway

If you ever see a sentence like the one at the top and wonder which form fits best, remember the core idea: is the noun after the relative pronoun performing the action or receiving it? If it’s receiving it, and the noun is a living being, whom is usually the right pick in standard, formal writing. If the noun is doing the action, who is the natural choice. If it’s a nonhuman thing, which helps keep things tidy.

One more example to close the loop

• The statue, which stood in the square for years, finally found a home in the museum.

Here, which is used because the subject of the relative clause is the statue, a nonhuman object.

And yes, the world of grammar isn’t a straight line; it’s a tapestry of exceptions and evolving usage. The key is to stay curious, read widely, and practice with purpose. With a little attention to the roles inside those relative clauses, you’ll navigate pronouns with greater ease and write with more confident clarity.

If you want, I can toss a few more practice sentences focused on who, whom, which, and whose, and we can walk through them together. Either way, keep paying attention to the roles these words play in your sentences, and your writing will thank you for it.